The Grieving Process:
I have spent a lot of time with people in the grieving process. My wife and I have lain to rest two of our daughters and many other family members, and friends, all so every year I do funerals for eighty to one hundred families.
I want to share some thoughts that can help us when we find ourselves in a grieving process: I have done a lot of hard work in my lifetime, but grieving is the hardest work I have ever had to do. Grieving affects every area of your life Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual.
Jesus Promises Comfort:
Jesus said: “Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.” God does not tell us how we are to mourn or grieve, but he is telling us we do need to grieve. So I say there is no wrong way or right way to grieve, it is your way, but we must grieve.
God’s Word Promises Comfort:
God shares about his comfort in our time of grief; Praise God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! He is the Father who is compassionate and the God who gives comfort. He comforts us whenever we suffer. That is why whenever other people suffer, we are able to comfort them by using the same comfort we have received from God. II. Corinthians 1:3—4.
A Steward of the Pain of Grief:
I wanted to share what I have been sharing in my funeral messages the last year; that we can help others in the grieving process with the comfort we have received, when we went through our grief of a similar loss. When we have been comforted by God in our grief; and we see a friend or family member going through a similar grief; I believe as we become a steward of the pain of grief and we reach out to them with the comfort we have received. What I have experience as I try to help someone else in their grief; God in turn comforts me again, so I believe as I helps others in the grieving process God helps me in the grieving process.
Who Can I Help in the Grieving Process?
I like to explain it this way: The best one to comfort a person who has lost a mate is those of you that have lost a mate, you know the pain first hand. The best one to comfort a parent that has lost a child is those who, as a parent, have lost a child. As we share our pain and comfort with them; it will help them in the grieving process, along with helping you further along in your grieving process.
We Help Ourselves When We Release Our Tears:
Do not to try to keep your feeling inside if you need to cry it is OK to shed tears. The shortest verse in the Bible say: Jesus wept John 11:35 He shed these tears at the tomb of the death of his friend Lazarus. I love what God’s Word shares with us: You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 58:6
We Help Ourselves When We Use The Gift of Memory:
Comfort comes from using the gift of memory to call back to heart and mind the good times you shared in lifetime with your loved one. Because after death that is what we say: I remember, I remember because all memories do not surface right away. As time goes on every now and then you remember something about your loved one, as a family you need to share those memories with one another and this will bring comfort. But sometimes there are what I call sad memories, things we wish had not happened or things we wish had not been said, sometimes these things happened in the care giving process.
We Help Ourselves When We Forgive Sad Memories:
I learned from Jesus when he was dying on the cross, as he cried out “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” As they were putting him to death on the cross he forgave them. If Jesus would have died with anger in his heart towards them that hurt him, he could not have been our Savior. He forgave them, not so much for their benefit, but so he could be set free from the hurts: so he could be our Savior. We too need to forgive the sad memories not; for our loved ones benefit, but for our benefit to set us free from those sad memories. This will release us from the sad memories, and this will allow many more good memories to surface to the top.
I like this thought: Forgiveness is a Gift you give yourself!
At Shiloh church for many years on the second Sunday of the New Year we do a memorial service to remember all those that passed away the year before. Below are some video messages of past years memorial services that may help give you some comfort.
02-12-20 Grieving a process not a Destination Pastor Ken
http://shilohcc.org/come/orleans-messages